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'Tis the season

I really need to up date this more, Shortly after my last blog post i finally went and hung out with someone i had been talking to for a while, & well thing progressed from there. We are together & have been for 7 months now, but also found out that i am expecting my first baby, His second. We are excited, worried, and anxious, which i am finding normal for our situation, But i am going to give you a run down from when i found out at 4 weeks till now 15 weeks and 2 days now.

Week 4: Not sure how far into week 4 i was when i found out, Period was 4 days late test and instantly positive

Weeks 4-6:

• No morning sickness
• missed period
• absolutely no changes

Weeks7-8:

• Morning sickness in full force
• Tender boobs
• lower belly tenderness
• Pregnancy confirmation/doctor appointment

Week 9:

• First ultrasound(measuring on track)
• still horrible morning sickness
• boobs still tender

Week 9 i had an accident, I was dehydrated and had low blood sugar and actually passed out and hit my head on a metal newspaper box.

Weeks 10-12:

• Heard baby's heartbeat on doppler for the first time
• feeling my uterus
• back pain

Weeks 13-15:

• feeling baby move
• morning sickness still here
• boobs hurting less

Weightloss update, Long time in the making

It's been a very long time since i've posted anything, & boy oh boy i have changed a lot 9 months, since i've posted i've lost another 52 pounds. It has made me have another out look on life, & by no means am i close to where i want to be. At this point, i am trying to tone while losing weight, because i truly don't have any goals to try and reach, just what ever happens with losing happens. Probably because it's the time of year that i get sick, & i figure that's whats happening now. but here are some pictures

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21st birthday, life and weight loss

So this pass Saturday i turned 21 (06/15), and boy.. i derailed from my weight loss, but i don't really care all that matters is i had fun. Still trying to recover from it, I'm still cruising single, but i have a man in sight, but who knows about that, i'm leaving it to fate, but i like him.

  But i did reach my goal weight before my birthday, and also surpassed it just a day or so after my birthday. Which makes me absolutely happy. I am online and only have my pictures on my phone so at some point i will post them, but here are a few from my birthday.

Weight loss and upcoming birthday

Okay, so my weight loss has been going pretty good. It's slow but i'm hoping that will mean that i won't have a lot of extra loss skin. And probably the biggest thing i've learned this far is, don't cut ever single one of your favorite foods. I don't know if it's because a lot of the food i like is healthy to begin with. So far i am down 41 pounds from my highest recorded weight, very well could have been high before.

But, i also have an upcoming birthday which is totally going to through my whole little weight loss thing off. but your only 21 once, So be looking for the pictures of that in about 2 weeks or so. I've been slacking since i've been sick and exhausted.

Weight loss update 5/20/2013

Yes, yes it's that time again since the last time i posted how much i actually lost was a while ago, but my weight fluctuated a lot with in that time, so since the the last numbers on here, i lost 7 more pounds but in reality it is more in the 10-15 range. The lightest i've been since i was 14 or 15 with in at least 10 pounds. I am more active in trying to lose this weight now setting goal. Like i am currently trying to lose the last 6 pounds for this month before my birthday or even more, which is 26 days away.

Weightloss update, well sort of.

So the past couple weeks have been very hectic for me and i've been doing a lot of "running" which i mean driving. Its only been a few days but i got a gym membership, and later i will post more about that, maybe even do a few youtube video's. But out of the 3 days of having it i've went and worked out 2 of those days. doing only about 2.5 miles 3 miles at the most the first day between biking and walking on the treadmill. the second day i went all out burned about 300 calories and maybe did a little more than 3 miles. Now its time to slow down and reflect and focus on what i want, and stay positive. I am positively exhausted though, so this is short with no pictures, maybe in  a week or 2 or 3 just depends on my results, but i am at least feeling the work outs and not pushing over the limit. if you have any tips feel free to leave them

Writers block, along with friends and family

Here for the past how ever long its been since the last blog, At least it under 3 weeks. I have had nothing to write about, I've been busy to besides that. Been helping out around the house to a point, and been hanging with a friend and helping him pack a house up. Onto of dealing with drama, and helping with a depression, the same thing i've went through.

 I may have more blogs to come if this writers block passes or if i get horribly sick. So to take up space i am going to post some pictures.

Steven Earl Kraft Jr, yes its that time of year again

The search for Steven Kraft still continues, his Prayer Candle Light Vigil was February 15th, It's been 12 long years with very little answers. It is tough i grew up with him and his cousins and siblings, I am extremely close to a few of his cousin. I am going to post to links below, and if you lived in the area or know anything about it please call the number on the links. I know this i s short but i want to get it to the point.



http://www.wndu.com/home/headlines/Michigan-boy-still-missing-after-12-years-191501311.html  (This is the story with the number)


http://www.wndu.com/video/?autoStart=true&topVideoCatNo=default&clipId=8402029#.UR8SmcHvuYw.facebook  (This is the news video)

Happy valentines day

Yes, i am aware this is the day after, but as i am writing this it actually is valentines day.
 
  Think i was going to be anything special. Especially since i am single, well seeing as i got my neighbor that i like a card i figured i'd invite him up to hang since he works 3rd shift. It went well and i am glad, we hung with another neighbor, later on like within a few hours i texted him, and asked him to be my valentine, as a friend of course( i don't think either of us took it as friends though) he said yes.

  It was a great day for me, i still wish more would have more would have happened between me and my "valentine" but it is what it is. That would be a whole different blog.


Later tonight or tomorrow i will have a blog up about Steven Earl Kraft Jr, and his Prayer Candle Light Vigil

Drama, Drama, Drama

I just need to rant a little bit, and i am going to change the names just because i want to protect their identities.

  You seriously can't trust some people that are suppose to be close to and are able to tell them important. Just as the saying is some woman aren't meant to be mothers, and i never thought i would know i person like that. Well was i wrong, my close friend let call her *L, well she has no stable house or life for a child she has. That at 17/18 yr old has no right mind trying to have a baby if they aren't in a stable home and relationship, married or not married. Now i am really close with this family, and *L defiantly causes trouble for me, my friends *J & *S( not using their names either because of legal matters) and then having a premature baby that may or may not be feed right, changed right or even cared for when crying, at least some what to my experience ( please don't tell me i should do something about it, The law is involved in it all ready) I try my damnedest when i am around him seeing as he is my god son to take care of him which isn't easy when  his mother contradicts everything and experienced parents and babysitter know. That is just frustrating, just all the arguing and running and lying on everyone's part.


 you would think with this being a rant it would be longer, but i can't give much detail with out someone recognizing this, just more fights and drama that i don't want or need.

Almost 2 years later

Its been almost 2 years since i got pregnant the first time, and almost 2 years since i lost that pregnancy. I still think about every day, and i write to them about once or twice every few months. It still hurts, and its really hard to talk about it or tell people that don't already know, especially when trying to start a relationship.

I know i'm not the only one but i afraid to be pregnant again, especially after having a few "possibly pregnant" scares, and that with being smart about what i do. But i'm so afraid that if i do fall pregnant again that i'll just miscarry again. I know this is all over the place, but for me this has been rough I've went through it alone, and pretty much still am.

 Sorry this is so short, but its painful.

Another update: Life Update

Since the last time i updated on here I've had a lot going on, February to May 2012 not a lot happened i fought with my ex boyfriend that was also the father of the babies i lost. June 2012 i thought i had a great thing going on, I started talking to a great guy, then just before my 20th birthday we started to date. Judge me if you want but i drank, and smoked, never got pregnant and didn't try to prevent it, this is stupid of my but after dating 3 months he  asked me to marry him and i said yes, it took him a month but he also asked my father for my hand in marriage. i think it was maybe 2 weeks later, i get a text message from him after not seeing him all weekend saying i got a job and I'm moving, Of course i asked what about me & this next part broke my heart, he told me that he was going to better his life and i should to and maybe one day we can hook up again. that was in November, from that point till now I've been hanging out with a really awesome guy that i have a crush on, and he knows it he has helped me with this break up i was going through. Maybe more to come on that one.

*~Sorry I don't want give out names or a whole lot of detail.

Weightloss update

Well weight loss  has been a slow going process as expected. Haven't been very strict on it either. Not nowhere close to where i want to be but in total i have lost 31 pounds.

Through two pregnancies and miscarriages I am beginning to be happy with my body. In the pink shirt is the most recent like in January of 2013, the others are from the past 2 years. Not much to say with this update just short sweet and to the point.

UPDATE: Steven Kraft still missing, 11 years later

UPDATE: Steven Kraft still missing, 11 years later


Please if you have seen him, or know anything it would mean the world to his friends and family.

Happy Valentines day!

Today has been anything but easy for me, So may of last year i made some stupid choice, was starting birth control. I didn't know i was pregnant till i had lost the baby completely, Middle of June around my birthday i lightly bleed for about a week and a half maybe two weeks and than stopped bleeding, i never thought anything about it, June 25th i went to a birthday party that was for me and my 2 siblings born on or around the same day, i enjoyed myself. That night at my sister place i started having bad cramping but no bleeding, that is the only time pregnancy crossed my mind. I carried on about my business as usual though, But June 30th very late at night technically it was July 1st, I passed the majority of the tissue than and only bleed a few days after, but from what i seen that pregnancy was gone, I was 7 weeks almost 8 weeks, and pretty sure i lost the baby at 6 weeks. Back to why today hasn't been easy for me, well it is because this was my estimated due date, In my mind i believe that angel was a little girl, and i will always think that. She is my angel that is looking over right next to her sister Teagan. Been a painful day but i try to look ahead knowing I'll see her again one day. I know i didn't write very much, but there isn't much to say. 


So Happy Valentines Day! everyone

More old and current weight loss pictures

I'm know where near what weight i want to be, it is slow progress but at least there is progress

Offical first weight lose blog of 2012

So right now not very much to update on yet, i did find out about how much i weigh and i am super embarrassed by it.

Happy New Year!

So made it to 2012, And oh boy I've been reflecting on 2011 and everything i went through, More than i realize or at least that's the way it feels but I'll go into that later. I've made a few new year resolutions that i know i can stick to. So here they are

• Lose 150 pounds
• stay positive and happy

• Get a drivers license -_-   

And on that note, since being pregnant back in may when i knew my weight i have lost weight, not sure how much since my last pregnancy so i can't tell you on that part.

 Reflecting on 2011  

   So i guess I'll dive right in, January and February were uneventful last year, March i got back with on of my ex boyfriends (big mistake, He's a sex addict)got pregnant the first time in march and i kind of knew and test it was positive(sorry no picture i deleted it soon after) and i didn't tell him, I kept my party life style up cause i didn't believe it, I lost the baby in April I was only a few weeks along. In may i went and got on birth control, and yet again i got back with the same ex -_- very stupid i know, and guess what... I got pregnant again, did not know so of course i kept partying( just drinking beer, I actually had morning sickness around my birthday beginning of summer but i thought it was from drinking cheap vodka,at the time i would have been 6 1/2 weeks pregnant but again i didn't know, I spotted for a week to 2 weeks lightly but i thought that was that months cycle just starting birth control, June 25th to about July 1 st i cramped really bad, and July first at about 8 weeks i lost baby, end of July i started talking to a childhood friend, and we ended up dating, for about 2 months and we broke up he moved on right away which hurt, my other ex ( would have been baby daddy) tried getting back with me and tried to get me to sleep with him. that has went on since end of September beginning of October till well actually now. December I asked my close friend's brother out, he said yes, than the next day we broke up and believe it or not it hurt. Yes i knew him before hand, But that situation is neither here nor there. So i guess that is all i am going to write so about not having any pictures right now, very busy holiday and a very full camera with a review for influnster.com so i will have that up here soon i hope.


If you have any advice, just want to talk or request a blog or review please leave a comment or message i will answer back.
 

Break ups, Stress and too much thinking

So i guess i say that a lot has changed for me since i lasted posted, My wonderful friend (I'll call him Aj)and i broke up but that was for the best after things have happen and currently i can't bring myself to text him. So yes i had a break up, and don't want to talk about it yet with many people.

  So lately I've been very, very stressed, depressed, and having a lot of anxiety attacks some caused by the break up, and yes if you haven't noticed that i actually kind of loved him so i am hurting, but also my mother has to have surgery, and I'm stuck living at home till I'm almost 21, But my old friends and my ex bf that would have been the father to my baby/babies checking in on me frequently. That's another thing that has been on my mind since almost everyone i know is pregnant is if i would have kept either of the pregnancies i would be due soon. Don't get me wrong I'm glad I'm not pregnant or a mommy just yet. 

  So I've also set the goal to lose 164 pounds within a year, I've noticed exercising and friendship bracelets. So i have plans on updating as i go. Any tips on losing extra weight would help.