Exams and being sick

So this a random blog.

This week was exam week at my school, which is okay because it means the begining of a new trimester.... but this past weekend end my friend came and stayed with me and she is SICK like has a cold and stomach flu... well no the less i have a serve cold now... which made exams that much more exhausting for me... and to make it worse she moves in Friday and is still sick... meaning you will have a lot more blogs from me because i am sick and don't have school till march 4th. Sorry this is super short but i wanna try to get one up everyday... especially since right now i actually feel some what okay...

self image troubles-"gotta be somebody"

 



yes i ramble a lot in this.. sorry


   some things just do not make sense to me. Yes, i am a bigger person but there is nothing i can do, i already do everything that i can to get rid of this weight but people that see me don't see that and they judge me. I don't get a chance to pretty much prove i am just like everyone else, just because i am "fat". Growing up i was picked on, I mean i was called every name you can think of, i was hurt by guys that i went to  school with and i was even jumped. I don't blame them for me being big i know its not their fault. Now i still get called names and i've made enemies, but i put a front on as that i don't care (most of the time i don't) but also i to some people i make myself seem mean. Some of my friends see  the soft side of me, My parents even put me down at time. So anytime i look in a mirror i don't see anything beautiful, i see a worthless, stupid, fat woman. Thats really hard for me,i never once have felt pretty or even beautiful people now and even when i was younger (90's) were and still are mean. i've heard some people in my school now even say that "fat" people don't need love and that they are better off  alone b/c  no guy will ever want them.

We do deserve a chance just remember that.

No Catchy title- Random Life Blog- "My Sacrifice"

So much happens to me sometimes and i'm not sure i know how to explain  it. There are somethings i am thinking i will have to edit at least for a while. Okay so now, I am going to start at random places in my life and go from there. Sorry if it confusing.


     The first thing i am going to talk about happened almost 3 years ago. I was 16 the time, and i was into  a website that i shouldn't have been- "second life" for a while i was able to go through it and do things with out most of the people there knowing i was under 18 seeing it was for 18+. I admit i meant a lot of great people playing that game but that ruined a lot of things for me. So on this game i was "married" to a really great guy we talked in the game for hour  and hours sometimes getting myself in trouble w/ my parents.. sometimes not getting up for school b/c i was up all night, well a lot of that changed when he move from  georgia back to his parents house. "Fred"(*In game name, i'm not going to say last names*) was gone for almost a week, And the woman "Wendy" that i had consider my sister in this game Also had her step son in game he was 17  at the time. He had told me before that he really did like me.. so in this time behind everyones back me and him started dating. Eventally we took it in game so we could do stuff till he came to my state, He had already purposed to me and we were engaged. Well his step mother decide to check his account and email and seen all of this and went right to "fred", that night in game i lost My in game husband and my sister, but that didn't stop me and him we just hid it more.. but we were found out, I did stuff that i am not proud of.. he ruined my trust with men and woman.... and also it broke my heart.

I did not post this to get dogged out.. so please do not leave rude comments.