Break ups, Stress and too much thinking

So i guess i say that a lot has changed for me since i lasted posted, My wonderful friend (I'll call him Aj)and i broke up but that was for the best after things have happen and currently i can't bring myself to text him. So yes i had a break up, and don't want to talk about it yet with many people.

  So lately I've been very, very stressed, depressed, and having a lot of anxiety attacks some caused by the break up, and yes if you haven't noticed that i actually kind of loved him so i am hurting, but also my mother has to have surgery, and I'm stuck living at home till I'm almost 21, But my old friends and my ex bf that would have been the father to my baby/babies checking in on me frequently. That's another thing that has been on my mind since almost everyone i know is pregnant is if i would have kept either of the pregnancies i would be due soon. Don't get me wrong I'm glad I'm not pregnant or a mommy just yet. 

  So I've also set the goal to lose 164 pounds within a year, I've noticed exercising and friendship bracelets. So i have plans on updating as i go. Any tips on losing extra weight would help.

Sadly i've neglected my blog

Not a whole lot has gone on, i have not moved or anything, just busy spending time with family and friends. so i am just going to have give you a few pictures till something interesting happens.

Moving date changed

So as i stated before i have plans on moving out of my parents house. Well i thought it was going to be soon than it was, I still have plans on moving hopefully within the next few months. Meaning that I'm not moving in September :/ because they didn't get the apartment. Hopefully i can get him a ride down here so we can see each other, but other than that nothing important enough to blog about. Also look for make-up looks, that i will probably be posting later on to night. 

Every feel like your hearts ripped out

Yep, well that's pretty much all i felt all day, I guess depression does rear its ugly head at the worst times. So down to less than 2 weeks before i move, My last weekend in my home town is this weekend (august 26-28), and I've barely talked to my boyfriend these passed few days, yes i know its sound like i am a fricking young teen, but I'm not and i really care for him, that's what makes the days hard, lol. That's also why my heart feels like its been ripped out. So small updates till i move, because i'll probably be with out internet for a while. Short sweet, simply, and straight to the point.

Weightloss update

Okay, so i think this is my first one, but i'm in the process of shedding pounds, just and picture update to show. I haven't weighed or measured myself, i will once i absolutely have to by new clothes.

Moving!!!

Okay so I should be doing more blogs after I move. Little bit of a back story. I've lived and moved around with my parents for the last 19 years. So, as crazy as this sounds please do not judge. I'm moving in with my boyfriend though we just started dating, I knew him all through elementary school. My parents rule isn't working for me though, I'm an adult and i have a curfew because i still live with them. I admit i had it super easy, no rent, but an ass load of chores. I decided enough was enough that it is my time to start my life. My parents support me, but are super unhappy. Okay so this was just more of a rant, and update. But i'm moving and hopefully will have more blogs to come. Pictures will be up once i move. (still 2 or so weeks away)

Life does improve

So things have most defiantly have changed for me, Lately I had been feeling down, really really depressed ( i don't want to go into the details of that though). So I am going through my normal day, I'm on facebook of course and i got what i consider to a random IM because well me and this person hadn't talked in over several year, But anyway we did the awkward hello and he told me he had a crush on me back in elementary school, which surprised me because in elementary i had super low self esteem, and i didn't think i was beautiful. so we continue to talk for a few a days ( i know this is going to sound like we rushed but,) after 4 or 5 days of talking an catching up with each other, he told me he still had a crush on me, and oddly enough i admit i was starting to have a crush on him, On my fathers birthday (Aug. 1st,2011) he asked me to be his. Since then my depression is slowly going away, Old thoughts i had are going away. He just makes me so happy, he gives me feeling that I've never had before but only time will tell. 

Life now, pregnancy and miscarriage, Parents and a horror flim

The past few months for me have been very eventful, I still live with my parents and it has been very stressful, Job hunting to get out of here is not going well on top of other things. I just got out of a odd/bad relationship, and very happy about.

Okay to start off i got pregnant back in march of this year and lost that pregnancy in April i know why too, I partied with my best friend and boyfriend and got overly buzzed ( yes i know i am under age, but my life my choice sorry). Then this past may i got pregnant again after being on birth control, well just start and the doctor i that gave the pills to me said after a week if anything were to happen i should not get pregnant. Yes, i made a stupid move with my now ex-boyfriend, and slept together without a condom. I got pregnant and had suspected it for about a month before i was sure i was pregnant, July 1st i miscarried i still suspect i may be pregnant ( i hope not)

7 weeks

8 weeks

2 weeks after leaving school/ Dropping out

Okay, so technially it is only a week, but the week before i stayed home with my bestfriend because she was sick, that following tuesday we went to school and cleaned our now old locker, we broke the news to people that had got close to us, and we even made a few cry. Thats not the point, within the two weeks we've been out of school we've had many many appointments, and more to come. Deff, not the way i thought would be, never thought i would drop out..

Really, does life ever turn out or happen the way we thought it would?

Really short i know, i'm sorry..

Comment below: if you female -i may do a few make up- tutorials

MIA-Random update.

So here lately i've been missing in action, well i have a reasons for this, I'm in school is the major reason.. but also i'm settling into having a room mate. Which is working out right now, our bedroom is trashed, and there is a lot of fighting between me and my parents now. On top of all this me and my roomie have been going to a lot of choir events this past week. and more to come. Umm other things may rise up soon not sure but we will find out next month so blogs will be less and less until at least may.